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Thursday, March 15, 2007
im troubled with alot of things =(things unsolved and problems comes in one by one .
even my gan di *** **** !
i feel very helpless when i've come to this extend with NO NO NO solution !
i hope he wont lay his hands on drugs !
tt's the worst Worst WOrst WORst WORSt WORST situation i wanna see it happening .
smoking still acceptable, of coz i hope he can stop !
i need more time thinking and yes bendan say don think too much if not got white hair .
i've got no choice .
if i have a choice i would want my hair in stripes of purple and green(ok not funny)
sometimes i wonder if God is right behind me pushing me to move on, and i was wrong tt hes not there .
partially may be didnt pray enough !
but sometimes when u're in a crucial moment u wont have the mentally to ; eh stop, i need to pray first !
but of coz i've got so much time in the world to think and thus i dont have the excuse to say i don have time to pray .
i feel like crying for all these matters, but somehow my tears cant flow .
somehow i feel strong to face and even talk abt all these things .
of coz not all things are bad for me .
at least surrounding there's some things i can be proud and say good move, good job !
i'm fed up with alot of things that just come by ur way and day to make u waiver ur thoughts abt ur fellow christians .
sometimes i see christians as hyprocrites .
their words are LOUDER than actions .
but the saying is "actions speaks LOUDER than words" !
of coz by saying this, i'm not pointing at anyone .
becos i myself belong to the 'christians' category .
sometimes there's no righteousness in me .
i waiver alot, always get carried by the wind, words, ppl and stuff .
i dont like the feeling when i'm feeling lousy, helpless and sometimes hopeless .
when problems stood by my way, i feel like i've lost my faith in God, trusting God tt he can help me through !
i guess my gan pa is right, i'm those kind of person who work alone when i think its right and i need to learn how to trust God .
but may be i've got no trust in trust !
as somebody like somehow break my promise times and again !
i am prideful, self-centered and maybe somebody tt are over confident at times, and things happened to test me on how i react to things .
its like Christians are one body in Christ eg; i'm like the leg tt doesn't wanna move and u will hinder the rest of the body .
at least i know what is submissive .
i'll just try to always do the listening than talking .
i always do what i think is right, i always say what i hear from others and not myself , i always judge someone badly thinking tt i'm perfect in the past .
ive learnt my lesson through the gang .
i ask myself, why i'll get the influence thing when i hear from them too much and nv think of what i think be4 i make judgement .
no one is perfect but we're aiming to be perfect like Christ .
i dont know, i really dont know what's going through in me !
i never have this kind of feelings before, this strange feelings .
♥ my thought you cant decode ♥ 4:49 AM
me
