ok i'm tired
i dont know why ?!
must be those badminton games i've played in the afternoon .
hahaha
had fun playing doubles with yi jun and jin wan .
its was a fighting but yet not serious match i say .
my partner was none other than eileen chow .
it was PURE FUN and LAUGHTERS man !
there's this particular shot i cant get for dont know how many albert ainstein times .
i'll get stuck while turning my body and stumbled for a while be4 i get the shot and be4 i could get the shot, TADA its on the floor ! -___- becos that shot need to turn ur the other half body plus a few steps forward but i just cant get it in time !
so its like for dunno how many seafood times i cant get the shot !
and my statement to myself was i think i need to learn tango in quite a loud tone and all of them burst out laughing !
its rather silly !
but it better than an nonchalant day at home rite ?
and many more incidents happened here and there in the process of the 3 matches we had and it was cool man !
laugh till peng, shi bu shi ?!


i'm feeling all messed up ! i'm feeling seafood everyday and i shld clear all these with reflection v v soon i hope !


i feel burdened, like alot of things i've yet to untie the knots, like somehow dont know what's going on .
last week i lived as tho i'm the one lying in hos .
things happened after another .
it wasn't a v nice feeling .
i felt unwanted by friends, i felt helpless with my given situation, i felt betrayed by younger fellow sic, i sense that someone hate me to the core and ppl are influenced one another .
am i that not nice ?
am i trying v hard to cater to ppl's needs and be nice in class .
am i tt detestable ?
i really hope to change to private candidate so i don have to face ppl i feel awkward to .
i feel sorry for vic that she got such a bad example shepherd that she may feel i'm not good enough to be her shepherd .
i really dont know how to shepherd her .
i feel that there's something she has against me .
maybe i'm too oversensitive .
i doesn't like it this way .
ppl are talking behind ppl's back .
is this human nature ?
i say its selfish creature !
they only know them as they are the best .
i feel like breaking down to have a good cry but i dont know why there's no tears anymore maybe i just don feel like crying .
it'll wear me off, all the energy all the water in my body .
as mr you kok kiong said that i'm a running tap, once on had to turn off .
its not a v nice feeling and i'm surpressing my feelings too much .
i'm wearing a v thick mask to cover my real emotion .
i don like it but i feel that its a must for me .
sometimes i look down on myself .
there's so much things i cant do for someone close to my heart .
i'm feeling helpless .
and thnk God for constant reminder .
psalms 121:1-2
i lift my eyes to the hills, where does my help comes from ?
its comes from the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth .
how assuring and firm !
i hope i'll hold on to it .

♥ my thought you cant decode ♥ 11:30 PM