recently, i've been very short tempered, feeling irritated by someone at work very easily .
i think God is very far away from me once again definitely i'm to blame because i haven been in contact with him more or less .
God i'm sorry as i've failed your love and as a child, i know all this breaks ur heart and i'm prepared to get my just .
now i plead that You once again will come into me, to calm me, give me grace, give me security that i've lost ever since i've started in my career .
i dont know it this is the right choice for me but i wanna prove to myself that i can do well because its my passion and i wanna strive to be a good hairstylist, person, daughter, friend .
i think i've hide myself in this corner of darkness, i cant be that open heart person that i once were .
i dont know who to turn to in times of lost, worries, sorrow, even joy .
i know You've been always there for me but subconcious minded of mine, i forgot that i've got You .
i wanna be that sophia that u once knew, can share anything to anyone .
i dont know why i've become a changed person ever since i've work .
is it the environment or is it me, myself and i being the one who's always finding fault at other ?
sometimes i feel very uncertain about my future, even a guy whom i can trust my happiness in his hand .

i never thought of going into a r/s maybe sometimes, when i'm lonely i needed a listening ear, when friends are busy with their own life so i didnt want to interupt .
i dont know why i've become such a weaklings now .
i used to be strong, i know what i want and i will go for it but now its seems to be the opposite of everything .
i used to be happy and contented even the slightest thing that happens between my family, my friends or myself but now i find it so hard to even be happy or be the usual me .
i'm not contented with where i am and who i am lord .
i wanna be in Your image, full of grace, love and forgiveness .
i dont wanna be a person always holding to anger, unforgiveness, and many more .
i'm not happy and content with who i am now .
i wanna change !
ACTION SPEAK LOUDER THAT WORDS !
i will do it !
1 timothy 6:6 "But godliness with contentment is great gain."
i wanna be Godly and with contentment !

i have another problem yet unsolved .
i dont know what should i say or do .
i've said what i wanna say .
i don know what to do .
ALOT of uncertainties about our future .
i said i wan a stable one and u say u too .
i dont know if u understand what i'm trying to imply .
i dont want this to be a hindrance for both our work and studies .
you'll be going to army and after ur army i might alr work at other com as a hairstylist .
i dont want a leech but a guy can u be one ?
sometimes i really cant understand guy ...
maybe they are more troublesome than woman !
should i just let him wait or give both a chance to try it out ?
i've got time to wait i've got other choices but what is good for me ?
GOD HELP ME !
:C

♥ my thought you cant decode ♥ 1:52 AM